“How will I know when I’ve found my wedding dress?” It's a question I hear a lot at Bridal Gossip.
We’re so used to seeing wedding dress shopping portrayed as a huge emotional moment that it's easy to think there should be an unmistakable sign. Perhaps you'll cry, your guests will cry and you'll instantly know you've found the dress.
That does happen for some brides. But for plenty of others, it doesn't — and that's absolutely fine.
Choosing your wedding dress can be a much quieter decision. You might simply look in the mirror and realise you feel comfortable, confident and completely yourself.
So if you're waiting for a dramatic moment, here are some other signs that a dress could be right for you.
You feel comfortable in it
Your wedding dress isn't something you'll wear for five minutes in front of a mirror.
You'll potentially spend many hours wearing it — walking, sitting, eating, hugging people and hopefully doing plenty of dancing.
So notice how you physically feel in a dress. Can you move comfortably? Can you sit down? Does anything irritate or restrict you?
A beautiful dress that makes you uncomfortable isn't necessarily going to become more enjoyable after wearing it for several hours.
Comfort matters.
You still feel like yourself
Sometimes brides arrive with an idea of how they think they're supposed to look on their wedding day.
But there's no single way to look like a bride.
The dress that feels right might be romantic and detailed, sleek and simple, structured, relaxed, dramatic or something you never expected to choose.
What matters is whether you recognise yourself when you look in the mirror.
You want to feel special — but you don't need to become somebody else.
You're not mentally redesigning the whole dress
It's completely normal to think about small changes.
Perhaps you'd prefer a different sleeve, would like to add a strap, change a detail or make another customisation. The designers I work with offer customisation possibilities, although what's available varies between gowns and bespoke changes can cost extra.
But there's a difference between making a dress your own and wishing almost everything about it were different.
If you're mentally changing the neckline, skirt, fabric, back and detailing, it may simply not be the right dress for you.
You can imagine wearing it for your actual wedding
Try to move beyond how the dress looks in the fitting room.
Can you imagine walking into your ceremony wearing it? Sitting down for your meal? Having photographs taken? Talking, laughing and moving around in it? Dancing later in the day?
Thinking about your real wedding rather than simply how the dress looks while you're standing still can make your feelings much clearer.
You keep comparing other dresses with it
Sometimes you don't realise how much you like a dress until you try something else.
If every dress afterwards has you thinking, “I preferred the neckline on that first one” or “I felt better in the other dress”, pay attention.
You may already have your benchmark.
That doesn't mean you have to make an immediate decision. But it's useful information.
It works with your budget
Feeling good in your dress matters, but so does feeling comfortable with what you're spending.
At Bridal Gossip, new-to-order wedding dresses are generally between £1,200 and £1,700, with bespoke alterations charged separately.
Off-the-peg dresses start from around £600, and sale dresses from around £350.
I'll always encourage you to be open about your budget so we can concentrate on dresses that are realistic for you.
Finding a dress you love shouldn't leave you feeling uncomfortable about the money you've spent.
What if I don't cry?
Please don't worry! Crying isn't a requirement for choosing a wedding dress.
Some brides become emotional. Some smile. Some become very quiet. Others immediately start talking about shoes, veils or how they're going to show their mum. And some simply say, “Yes. I really like this.”
They're all perfectly valid reactions.
Don't judge your experience against somebody else's — or against what you've seen on television or social media.
What if I still can't decide?
You don't have to force a decision. If you're torn between dresses or simply don't feel ready, give yourself a little space to think.
Ask yourself what you're actually unsure about. Is it the dress? Are you worried there might always be something else out there? Are you being influenced by somebody else's opinion? Or have you tried so many dresses that you're beginning to feel overwhelmed?
Sometimes a little time away from the fitting room is much more useful than trying on another ten gowns.
Trust how you feel, not how you think you should feel
There isn't a checklist that can guarantee you've found the right wedding dress.
What I can tell you after years of helping brides is that the decision doesn't need to be dramatic to be right.
If you feel comfortable, confident and like yourself, you enjoy wearing the dress and you can picture yourself getting married in it, those are all very good signs.
At Bridal Gossip, I'll give you honest advice and plenty of space to work out how you feel. My job isn't to persuade you into a dress. It's to help you understand what works for you.
If you'd like some inspiration before you visit, explore our wedding dresses.
And when you're ready to start trying them, you can book your bridal appointment at our Wadebridge boutique.
Caroline Griffiths, Bridal Gossip
